The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
