mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
