I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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