Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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