So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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