I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
