You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
