I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
