She is in my trunk
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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