Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So vagazzling was a success
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize