If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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