Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
