I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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