I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
