Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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