I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
