He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You need a sexual gate keeper
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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