shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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