Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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