Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
