I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
