Tell her she can't have a vagina
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
