I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
