A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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