Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
