Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
