It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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