she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
