walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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