Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
