i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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