oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
