Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
