Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
