Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
