you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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