All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Randomize
