Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
