I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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