you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Randomize
