I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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