called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
