So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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