Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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