I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
