i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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