Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
