I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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