what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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