Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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