omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
