Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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