you guys were way drunker than both of me
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
