I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
