I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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