May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
