My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
